The Changing Table Conundrum

IMG_5585Recently, I went out to dinner at a neighborhood restaurant with my wife and kids. A pretty quiet place, with a seafood-heavy menu.

Not too long after we sat down, Beanie had to go potty, so my wife took her to the bathroom, while I hung out with the boys.

A few minutes after the ladies returned, Baby Squish woke up from a little snooze.





[By the by: Have you ever met a baby that was glad they woke up? Me neither.]

As any parent knows, there are two scenarios that wake up a baby: hunger and diaper.

In this case, it was both. So we started with the more pressing one: the nasty, stinky mess in his pants.

So I picked him up – it was clearly my turn to do a bathroom run – and walked to the restrooms.

I went into the men’s room. Two urinals. One stall. No changing table.

Well, crap.

There I was – in the middle of a bathroom – carrying a soiled, screaming 3-month old, with no place to change him.

The Best Mom and Beanie came in behind me, as Bug had to go potty, too.

“Screw this. Come with me.”

It was badass, in a Terminator kind of way.

She opened the door to the women’s restroom and pushed me in.

So…to recap: There I was – in the middle of a bathroom – carrying a soiled, screaming 3-month old. And this time, I had a place to change him.

[Aside: It was my first trip into a women’s public restroom since I was so jet-lagged and deliriously hungry from a super-delayed flight into Detroit, but that is a story for another day…]

Thankfully, no women came in to use the bathroom while Squish and I were in there, avoiding an awkward situation.

And that left me with one thought:

Who the hell thinks it’s OK to only put changing tables in women’s restrooms?

Why is that allowed?

Who thinks only women should get the pleasure of changing diapers in public places?

This is not OK.

Three reasons:

  1. Moms should not be forced to change every single diaper.
  2. Dads go out and about town alone with non-potty-trained kids all the time.
  3. Some families don’t have female parents.

These reasons lead to one realistic solution: PUT A DAMN CHANGING TABLE IN EVERY PUBLIC BATHROOM.

Look, I’ll go into a women’s restroom for my kids. But it’s awkward for literally everyone involved.

So, public restrooms: be better.


bodily fluid emojis

Bodily Fluid Emojis

The Best Mom and I have a deal: We make each other greeting cards for birthdays and other celebrations whenever possible. We love cards from companies that specialize in the right words, but there is an inherent challenge in writing it yourself.

For my birthday this year, she went above and beyond.

Now that we have three kids, life is messy. And lots of that mess comes from the insides of our children.

We aren’t the people that pretend the mess isn’t there; we are the people that dive into it (not literally, most of the time) and own the mess.

As such, her hand-made birthday card to me featured hand-drawn bodily fluid emojis. It is the sweetest card I’ve ever gotten. And my favorite.

bodily fluid emojis

the joy of peeing alone

Going to the Bathroom Alone

the joy of peeing aloneFor the first few decades of my life, I took something precious for granted.

Going to the bathroom by myself.

Once you have kids, it’s over.

Naturally, when you are at a restaurant or running errands, your little compadre(s) must come with you everywhere you go. They are your #1 (and…uh…#2) priority at all times.

That’s not what I’m talking about though.

I’m talking about in your home.

You SHOULD, in theory, be able to go to the bathroom in peace in the comfort of your own home. It’s your domain. Your castle.

Not anymore.

Every parent has had kids swing open the door trying to investigate what’s going on in there. One of my kids tried to see what was going on a little too close one day and I’ll just leave it at that.

What’s your favorite kids-in-the-bathroom story?