So many things in life go unsaid.
People fester in anger and shy away from authentic connections. It almost feels like human nature.
But as parents, we get to set the tone for how our kids interact with the world.
We ask them probing questions to understand what happened to them at school, how they are feeling, and what they are dreaming about. In order for us to guide them, nurture them, care for them, we need to have real talk with our kids.
“How was your day?” just doesn’t cut it. You have to ask them specific questions to get specific answers.
“What was the funniest thing that happened today?” “Who was your silliest friend today?” “If you could be anything when you grow up, what would it be?”
These engaging questions get kids, even young ones, to think analytically about their experiences, tell stories, and then build their future. These are conversation starters that are vital to understanding your kids.
Perhaps the biggest things that go unsaid are related to love.
The Best Mom and I decided that our kids would always know that we love them unconditionally. And, in our family, it would be frequently and explicitly stated.
Every single day, we ask them the same question, and they respond in turn:
“How much do Mommy and Daddy love you?”
“All the love!”
As vast an amount as they can imagine, we love them that much.
When we are proud of them, we love them all the love. When we are angry or frustrated with them, we love them all the love. At their highest high and lowest low, we love them all the love.
Everyday, we hug them, kiss them, LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. And take nothing for granted. We may THINK they know and understand how much we care for them, but we don’t really know.
Our goal is to create an environment of love and support in our family. A safe zone where they can grow and explore, knowing we will always have their back.
There will never be a day that goes by where our kids have any doubt how we feel about them. And they are part of it, just by answering one simple question.